In today’s society, there are countless women who are familiar with and can attest to the fact of having dated a cheater in their lifetime than there are women who can’t. And, with the divorce rate soaring pass the 50% mark, many women can even make the claim that they’ve been married to one. Can knowing why men have affairs or cheat on their women help prevent this from happening? Absolutely, I believe it can. Let’s explore why men have affairs, and what women can do to stop them from breaking their heart.
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• Because they aren’t happy. Redbook Magazine conducted a poll of cheating men, with a whopping 48% saying unhappiness was the leading reason they strayed. The men surveyed by author Gary Neuman in The Truth about Cheating rated higher, with 92% of men rating emotional dissatisfaction as the number 1 reason.
• Because they really didn’t mean to, it really did just happen. Men get bored easily and they want what they cannot have. They like the thrill of the chase, and when a woman starts flirting or giving more attention to them than they are used to, they feel appreciated and this begins an emotional affair that eventually leads to cheating. However, the irony is that when a man says he didn’t mean to, it just happened, he’s basically telling the truth because it was never his intention to do it. Although, it may have started as a seed of thought, it was nourished and cultivated by the other woman. The take home from this is to love and appreciate your man. Give him the attention that he needs so that he doesn’t have time, let alone enough energy to entertain another woman.
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• Because they don’t want the financial and legal burdens of divorce, and this is their only way “out.” Even today most men are still the primary source of income in the family, and divorce is expensive and could ruin a lot that a man has established in his life. If he doesn’t want to divorce, separate assets and deal with custody matters, he will take the easy way out of his unhappiness by cheating on his wife, thus offering him the best of both worlds.
• They ARE looking for a way out. TIME magazine author Andrea Sachs refers to this as the Ejector Seat principle. Men use affairs as an excuse to get out of their marriage. These are the husbands who don’t spend a lot of time trying to hide their indiscretions, because they are secretly hoping she will find out and make the decision to leave on her own.
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• Because they have low self-esteem and lack of confidence. They may use cheating as a channel to build confidence and self-esteem. Some men have childhood issues of inadequacy. They’re void and empty inside as a result of the lack that the might be experiencing. So the only way and the easy way to compensate for this lack is to cheat with multiple partners. His expectation is to fulfill this void through exploiting women. He’s afraid to grow up so he becomes perpetual adolescent. He’s essentially crying out for help and it’s going to take God and that special to bring him out.
There are countless reasons why men have affairs, and each individual man’s story will be as different as the marriage or relationship that he is in. However, the bottom line is that emotional dissatisfaction is the underlying cause for all of the reasons men cheat. Knowing this, women can make more efforts to be that other woman at home for him, and give him the attention and appreciation he is looking for every day at home, so that he doesn’t feel tempted to seek it elsewhere.
Here’s your final chance to learn why men have affairs